I have a mini PC server that can’t be physically locked away from people in the house, because I do not have the ability or space to install a rack and physically secure it.

There is a housekeeper that is sometimes not the same person.

There is a curious child in the house.

The server needs to be rebooted remotely occasionally.

Some disks are removable.

I am not concerned about an APT posing as my maid to steal the key from RAM. It’s not part of my threat model.

I do want to know if my UEFI, bootloader or UKI has been fucked with without my knowledge.

Lovers in a dangerous space time has been suggested already, so I’ll just mention it as a second vote!

Magicka and Magicka 2 are excellent, and hilarious. Might be a bit hectic later on, but early on both are pretty low stakes and paced slowly.

My other recommendation is Octodad. You control independent limbs of an octopus, pretending to be a man. Multiplayer is couch co-op. Remote play would be tougher, but still very funny!